Decoy In So Many Ways

For some reason, i wish i'd stayed incompetent at work. Just be the bumbling idiot who does what he's supposed to, nothing more, nothing less. Somehow showing what i can really do isn't working out at all. All the responsibilities, none of the acknowledgement? It's like Tyrion Lannister in A Song of Ice and Fire. He dealt with things justly, saved the city of King's Landing, but no one remembers or even acknowledges his part in things. He's just the grotesque imp that almost got himself killed saving the city he didn't even want to be a part of.

I'm a stopgap person. I plug the holes. I'm the flying unit of the army. The unit that closes the gaps in the ranks whenever the enemy overruns a section. So and so isn't around/available? Kevin will do it. Does anyone really care that i plug the holes? Nope, all that matters is that the end result is achieved. No one cares about the cork that plugs the hole at the bottom of the boat.

(Let's not get lewd about the plugging the holes analogies ok? DO NOT!)

Yes i'm whining, yes i'm complaining... But i'm entitled to rant. At the end of the day, i'll still do what i have to do. Because i like where i work, i love most of the people there, and i enjoy the work. But sometimes it just grates on me that i'm just the hidden shadow silently working my butt off to make sure everything is ok. I'm proud of what i can do, and what i've accomplished. But sometimes, it'll be nice to know that others see that too.

With that said, i end my little tirade.

New t-shirts are on the way! Awesome possum stuff. Now i can survive for a few months without buying clothes. Unless... the... t-shirts........ don't........................... fit...

This week somehow feels like a week where working doesn't fit in anywhere.

"You've never been so used
Since i'm using you, abusing you
My little decoy

Don't look so blue
You should have seen right through
I'm using you
My little decoy"

- Decoy by Paramore

Here Comes The Seasons...

Shirk, shirk, shirker of work... Bouncing around, hiding, lazing, snoozing, doing anything but work. Unless caught.

Payday cannot come any sooner. I want my damn iPhone. It's calling, beckoning, enticing... Kevin, buy me now and spend much cash and time foraging into my inner secrets and magical moments. Cash in now, and enjoy oodles and oodles of moments poking at a large screen! Such a sucker i am...

Christmas is coming... What rubbish shall i buy for my friends this year? *evil grin*

XY dangling free ZoukOut ticket in front of me. Promises of fun, fun, fun! Free drinks and looking at chicks! Oh joy! What i remember is long queues, sweaty and smelly fat dude gyrating in front of me, and rain... Meh, maybe this time it'll be different... Dare i go prove myself wrong?

Be careful, Taylor Swift might just follow you home!

"Forgive me, believe me, please come back to life. Come back to my life"

- Circle by Flyleaf

Memento Mori

The months just drift by, and i find myself back here. It's been almost a year...

Life just isn't the same when you have a friggin' Taylor Swift song stuck in your head. Stupid Band Hero...

Flyleaf's new album gives me the good chills. I listen to Lacey sing and i close my eyes and forget everything else exists. And i have a lot i want to forget about.

Ragdolls, ragdolls, played with then tossed aside.

I have no witty anecdotes on my day because for the past two days i've been sitting at home waxing nostalgic on pointless days gone by. I'm such a useless sap. Mayhap the next few days might be of interest. Who knows?

Remember you must die...

"Can i tell you a story, as we dance while the sun starts to bleed"

- Treasure by Flyleaf