Decoy In So Many Ways

For some reason, i wish i'd stayed incompetent at work. Just be the bumbling idiot who does what he's supposed to, nothing more, nothing less. Somehow showing what i can really do isn't working out at all. All the responsibilities, none of the acknowledgement? It's like Tyrion Lannister in A Song of Ice and Fire. He dealt with things justly, saved the city of King's Landing, but no one remembers or even acknowledges his part in things. He's just the grotesque imp that almost got himself killed saving the city he didn't even want to be a part of.

I'm a stopgap person. I plug the holes. I'm the flying unit of the army. The unit that closes the gaps in the ranks whenever the enemy overruns a section. So and so isn't around/available? Kevin will do it. Does anyone really care that i plug the holes? Nope, all that matters is that the end result is achieved. No one cares about the cork that plugs the hole at the bottom of the boat.

(Let's not get lewd about the plugging the holes analogies ok? DO NOT!)

Yes i'm whining, yes i'm complaining... But i'm entitled to rant. At the end of the day, i'll still do what i have to do. Because i like where i work, i love most of the people there, and i enjoy the work. But sometimes it just grates on me that i'm just the hidden shadow silently working my butt off to make sure everything is ok. I'm proud of what i can do, and what i've accomplished. But sometimes, it'll be nice to know that others see that too.

With that said, i end my little tirade.

New t-shirts are on the way! Awesome possum stuff. Now i can survive for a few months without buying clothes. Unless... the... t-shirts........ don't........................... fit...

This week somehow feels like a week where working doesn't fit in anywhere.

"You've never been so used
Since i'm using you, abusing you
My little decoy

Don't look so blue
You should have seen right through
I'm using you
My little decoy"

- Decoy by Paramore